The World Through Your Eyes
by Wolf-Shadow's-Ghost
Summary: I can't feel the rain, but I could feel the pain when they were gone. When was I the most happy...? A story told through the spirit's eyes. What did she hope for, and what was she thankful for? NO Guardian Spirit pairings. Slight XelhaKalas GibariSavyna


Posted on Nov 24, 07, on fanlib .com, under username wolf--shadow

Pairing: Slight Xelha/Kalas & Gibari/Savyna

Spoilers: End of game Rating: k+

Disclaimer: I own natta. Well, except the story concept,. but it's not like I'm getting any money from it.

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"What are you grateful for?" 

I don't remember when I was first asked that question, but I do know that I was asked it at some point or another in one of my lifetimes. Now that I reflect upon it, I must have been asked that when I was some kind of human, because, in all logic, why would anyone ask a non-corporeal being?

I can't be grateful for a roof over my head as my friends can. It doesn't do me anymore good that the open sky, I don't have a head that needs guarding from the rain. I can't be thankful for a good meal on the table, I don't eat, or more precisely, I don't need to eat. Nor do I need a table; I couldn't sit if I wanted to. I can't be gratified by a warm fireplace on a cold night, can't try some of the s'mores that everyone seems to enjoy. I don't even know, or remember, what it's like to get a good nights sleep. I can only imagine the feeling of being completely unaware of my surroundings for eight to ten hours. I've been told it's either like being in complete darkness, or like imagining the strangest things without really meaning to.

I don't mean to complain, but it sounds like I do, doesn't it? I just don't have the need for things like humans do, so I can't really be glad if I have an abundance of those things, because, really, I don't _need_ anything. … Well, I suppose that isn't true, it's more like I don't need anything to survive, but I do need live people to be around. Someone's heart to harbor in, otherwise I'm nothing more than a ghost. That's where Kalas comes in. Granted, we had some, road bumps, but really, I owe pretty much everything to Kalas in one way or another.

It was Kalas in the Neticcon Shrine, the one who attracted my attention. The other spirits watched him and Melodea with interest, but I was the only one who listened, listened to their hearts as well as their heads.

Even from the start, Melodea made me uneasy. Her heart was dark, and harbored negative energy like no other living being I'd come across. Kalas had darkness too, but not the same kind. His heart was scarred with loss, and stained with the want of revenge, and yet I could feel the lightness there, buried beneath the pain was a young boy who wished for the light of love.

With the curiosity of the others who drifted lethargically about the strange woods, I bonded with the young man, his heart opened up for the taking. I don't think either of us will ever forget that feeling, for the first time in… well, I could not remember how long, the world was clear to me. Everything had clear form as if I had my own eyes, before, everything I looked at was energy. A sort of burry, multi-colored haze, where feelings and memories became indistinguishable. But there, within his heart, I was whole again, I could see the world in the clarity that it's inhabitants did. And it was good, neither of us would be alone from then on, something we both needed.

So I suppose that in one way, I miss out on a lot of things, but in another way, I've been given the opportunity to look at that things I do have without the worry of being taken from the world. I do know this, I am grateful for my friends, for the many adventures we have had together, for the many lessons each of them taught me, and the words of wisdom I was able to pass on to the each of them.

Xelha, dear, sweet Xelha. Wanting to save the world even if it meant she did it alone. I always knew there was more to her, even in the beginning, whenever I talked to her, I could feel her seal off a part of her heart, trying to hide something from me. I let her hide, knowing that whatever she wanted to keep secret was not malicious, she was too caring, and too openly interested in Kalas to mean harm. She was the one I'd often talk to when Kalas was brooding; it was nice to converse with someone when he did not want to hear what I had to say. It was also refreshing to talk with another female. We'd regularly laugh at jokes that Kalas would never get, sometimes we'd even teasingly complain about him behind his back. It was her I turned to in my darkest hour, when the one I trusted most turned on me, told me I was merely an instrument to his own end. She was the one who opened up her own broken heart to let a wounded Spirit in, and together we promised to bring back the one we both loved.

Speaking of making fun of Kalas, I always enjoyed talking with Gibari. A more goofy person I haven't ever known. Yes, he was a bit dense sometimes, but his good nature balanced out Kalas' negativity and probably helped Xelha stay sane. It was Gibari really who managed to keep Kalas going along with the group, his 'bear hugs' always made me laugh. In fact, that was how he first knew of me. I can't recall what was going on, but Gibari picked up Kalas and held him there for a moment, Kalas' arms and legs flailing around, trying to get free. I couldn't help but laugh, and as one would expect from Kalas, he yelled at me to shut up. Of course, Gibari thought he was crazy, and Kalas had to give a heated explanation with me still laughing in his head. It was a good start to our friendship, I even (jokingly) asked him to bear hug Kalas a couple of times, but only when he was being annoying. In the end, I think Gibari learned to accept other peoples ways of life, he still did things his own way, but I think he was a bit more respectful to olden values.

Then there was Lyude, I always regarded him with respect for his loyalty to his beliefs above all else. But to be frank, I wished he had more confidence, he was a very likable person, could play music very well and had a good soul. But whenever I spoke with him, his heart was almost always in turmoil, the betrayal of his country was always heavily weighing him down, but it was always conflicted with the guilt he carried over the Ahza incident, and the dislike of his emperor (I could never disagree with him on that). However, it was one of the more rewarding things of my journey to see him grow into his own, to accept himself for who he was, even if his siblings never would. He found strength in himself he had never known was there, and he carried it with him like a metal of honor. His confidence became like a bright light, illuminating the darkened corners of doubt and helping the rest of us to push on.

Savyna, the dark haired huntress with a bloody past. At the start, she was always silent, and I don't think she liked me that much. Although I felt a bit put out by that, I later learned why. Despite our rocky start, I persisted in trying to know the imposing woman. When at last she opened herself up to me, her heart almost killed me. The pain, the guilt, it ran so deep… I didn't know what had caused it for a long time, but I still wished I could help her to heal. On the outside, she was stoic, and regret had no place in the present, it merely clouded a soldiers mind, but in the deepest part of her heart, she wanted nothing more than to find something, anything, worth fighting and even dying for. It took most of our harrowing voyage, but at last she opened up to the others, told them of her scars, explained part of who she was, and even allowed herself to forgive. She spoke more openly after the trip to Nihal Desert, even smiled once or twice, but I was the most surprised at the change in her when she first told us of her fear. Lady Death was afraid of ghosts, or more precisely, things she couldn't fight. Even though we were about to face our biggest challenge yet, and we didn't know whether we would live or not, I knew right then that Savyna would be alright, even if she didn't leave the Cor Hydra alive. She had set herself free, and nothing could change that. The only thing I wish I could have helped was her buried feelings for Gibari, and his for her. They could have balanced themselves out so well if they hadn't been so hesitant. Oh, well, things could still go the right way.

Of course, the absolute strangest person I have ever known was Mizuti. With her proclamation, "The Great Mizuti be invincible!" I knew I was in for quite a ride. I couldn't have been more right. Her ready acceptance of me being a echoing voice in her heart with no physical forum, and her unusual way of speaking quickly charmed my curiosity to learn as much about her as I could. Just as with all the others, I took time every night to have private conversations with her. I spoke to each of them differently, Kalas and I were long time friends and we acted as such, joking making fun of one another. Xelha and I would talk of the day's events, the people we met, the meanings of things in the stars and legends of old that told stories of beasts and heroes. Gibari knew a lot about many different things and we'd spend hours with asking questions and him answering in long winded ways. Lyude would talk of his many interests and the way of music. And Savyna would chat about arranging decks, and the best kind of battle Mangus. But I always looked forward to my talks with Mizuti, it wasn't what we talked about, as the topics always seemed random and could change at a moments notice, but it was the way we talked. Her and her funny grammar always added to her colorful outlook on the world, not to mention the odd jokes she told me. I think the most fun we had together was when we would talk about our group's interrelations, Xelha staring at Kalas over dinner, Gibari purposefully trying to aggravate Savyna so that she would join the conversations, Lyude losing at a game of poker against Xelha.

….. I miss those times, and I miss my friends, but in answer to the earlier question, I am grateful for the opportunities I have had, for the love I felt in our makeshift family, and for all the good memories we shared.

Thank you everyone, I hope you lead good lives and are happy in everything that you do.

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Authors' notes: 

Okay, I wrote this for thanksgiving, way late I know, but I didn't have a fanfiction account so, shrug what are ya gonna do?

Hope you enjoyed the story, and please review, it helps me to improve my writing.


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